Have you ever noticed a less-than-desirable habit creep into your life and not know what your days would look like without it? That is what television was for me.
Since the end of 2021, I have been using television far more than I ever have in my entire life. This spring brought on a sort of divine inspiration to shift, interestingly enough, due to the weather forecast.
In mid May, I had looked at the forecast and noticed we hardly had any rain upcoming. I recalled last year (okay, the last three years) being so drought-driven, that I made a silly, impractical agreement with Nature. Standing under my "Grandmama" Oak Tree, I made the pact: "I will forego TV for one week, and you let it rain. Deal?"
Since then we've had plenty of rain. And, of course, I truly had no impact in it as the tiny little peon human I am. But, it's still fun to think about and produces quite the smirk on my face given the major downpours we've had this year in Minnesota.
There was more to the story, however, than grasping any control in things where there is zero control (like weather). As mentioned earlier, I had
been using television far more frequently than I like since the end of 2021, and I was curious what I would do with myself if I didn't have access to it. I had veered so far from how I lived as a teenager -- watching only 5 hours a week back then -- that I was burning with curiosity.
What would I do with my time if I did not have the TV on?
On a Wednesday night after work having made the "agreement" with Mama Nature, I went to bed curious what the next seven days would show me about myself and my habits.
Here's what came to light with my time away from the tube:
I started reading books again (it had been years since I read with any frequency!)
I had more thoughts I could make sense of.
I felt boredom and awkward -- and liked it.
I spent more time doing random things around my home.
I chewed my food more thoroughly and became a more conscious eater.
I moved my body more.
I was exhausted.
I did not spend more time on my phone.
Understanding that I had been using television for more than entertainment. (This was a big one)
(Addendum!) TV helps pass the time when you're sick.
As you can see, a lot illuminated for me in a week free of television.
My aim for sharing these experiences in this article is to help you to gain insight into how habits like these like to stick, even when we really don't want them to. I'll go into some depth with these insights as they might mirror a habit you've formed over time that you've been trying to get a handle on. Sometimes these habits show up for important reasons we are not cognizant of, so it can be helpful to read someone else's experiences and vicariously gain understanding to your own situation.
To make the information as digestible as possible the first part of this article will cover points one through five, with the following article covering insights six through ten.
1. I started reading again
I love reading. I am slow at it, but I love it. I love sitting with a book in my hand, changing from a million positions on a chair, couch, bed, or floor, turning the pages feverishly and absorbing the information. It has been disappointing for me over the last several years not fitting this hobby into my schedule. I had prioritized television over the enriching pastime that reading is to me. Why? Probably because I -- like so many others I've worked with in coaching -- find that television is more or less a net-zero, or "neutral", energy source.
It does not require or demand much energy on behalf of the viewer other than your time. It honestly doesn't even require your attention (look around next time you're watching TV or a movie and see how many people are using their phones and you'll know what I mean). No. Instead, it entertains you enough to forget certain pangs of life, offering a breather from your own life. Nothing wrong with that.
But reading, well, reading requires your attention. And when I read, I read. I often don't notice anything around me as long as I have a book in my hand. I once had a friend tell me a fire could be going on around me and I wouldn't notice if I was in the middle of a good book.
Although it could provide me energy and entertainment, I didn't have the energetic capacity or resources before or after work to do anything that required more of my energy. I was too spent. So the fact that I read nearly 600 pages between 3 books in a week and a day was astonishing to me. And oh-so gratifying.
2. I had more thoughts I could make sense of
I had a hunch this one was coming, but I don't know if I could have guessed the capacity. I realized that I often was using television to quiet my brain (or as my sister says, "shh, quiet kitty!"). Sometimes there are too many thoughts that "demand" me to take note, often leaving me very tired or anxious. Turns out, this is an ADHD thing -- a relatively new diagnosis for me in the past 10 months, but apparently a lifetime of living with it.
Using TV to quiet my mind has been something I've been aware of, but it wasn't until I unplugged that I realized there are a lot of emotions and thoughts that begged to be paid attention to.
The good news, I discovered, was that because of my recent work with a therapist specializing in neurodivergence -- and the training I have been doing for coaching neurodivergent clients -- I was able to handle all the thoughts that flooded in, and know that they did not all need to be given attention right then and there; or to be given any attention at all, at that matter.
They were just thoughts. I was able to sift through the ones that were actually affecting my life, sort out if they were able to be tended to in that moment, or if they just were reminding me of something for later on. I was able to sit with the thoughts and emotions that flew through my head, and actually allowed an organizational pathway for them to land safely, so they didn't all just get jumbled in my brain causing anxiety or urgency. New to me! And I may have never known I had those skills if I hadn't stopped watching TV.
In a 2021 article written in the John's Hopkins Magazine, author Brennen Jensen discusses a study which showcases that moderate TV watching in adulthood over 20 years reduces grey matter in the brain, an area which supports mental cognition and allows people to control their thoughts, memories, emotions, sensory input, and muscle movement (as described in an article "Gray Matter vs White Matter" from author James Roland on July 12, 2024). Gray matter is the structure that grants us the ability to think, reason, learn, speak, and process sensations and emotions.
Yep, it makes total sense that by turning the TV off, even for a week, I was able to have those neural networks that support thinking, reasoning and emotional perceptions perform better, and allow me to sort through all my thoughts.
3. I felt boredom and awkward -- and I liked it
I have not had much in my life to be bored with. There is always something to do or something going on that I could choose to participate in. I don't always participate, mind you, it's simply that there is something a person could always do. I learned a few years ago that I don't need to fill my time, which is great. But being bored was an altogether different reveal for me.
It felt awkward not allowing myself to watch tv on the weekend when I actually wanted to watch a little bit. I found myself on one certain day feeling rather lonely and bored. My partner was with his friends, my family was busy, my friends were doing their thing, and I had a day to myself. It was an uncomfortable feeling not filling that awkwardness with TV.
I felt myself wanting to distract from the discomfort. But instead, I sat with it. Very awkward. I ended up relishing in the awkwardness. It was mine. And I could do with it what I wanted. So I felt it entirely. Strangely enough, it gave me life the next day. I hadn't felt boredom in years, and I think it's something I need to experience more of. If for no other reason than to reset my brain and nervous system.
According to a September 2022 article by Mayo Clinic Health System Psychiatrist Ashok Seshadri, MD, being bored can be extremely helpful to problem solving, "consolidating memories and reflecting on lessons learned", as well as boosting creativity.
In this society, we're often programmed and expected to always be doing something. Many of us grow up hearing "there's always something to do", with the common instruction of spinning in a circle, eyes closed, stopping, and landing on an area with your pointed finger and doing something in that general vicinity that needed to be done. You can imagine allowing oneself to feel boredom and not being anxious while needing to be productive would be quite the shift. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. And surprise! I was more productive, happily so, the next day.
4. I spent more time doing random things around my home
This one is pretty straight forward. I found myself pacing around my house when sitting on the couch looking out the window staring at squirrels bouncing from limb to limb had hit its limit for me. I have had difficulty in recent years simply doing things around my home, like picking up the pile of papers and sift through them, consistently doing my laundry and putting it away (ugh), or a million other little things that pile up making a person feel incumbered by their own living arrangements (surprise! These are also ADHD trip-ups). Turning the TV off for me was all the push I needed to simply use the time differently, and without weight of me feeling bad or ashamed, I simply did it. Who knew?
5. I chewed my food More thoroughly and became a more conscious eater
I come from a family of quick eaters. Nurses, doctors, and myself as a massage therapist with no time to eat between clients/patients make for devouring a meal like a viper. Shove it in, carry on; there's work to be done. Maybe eat a couple bites of a granola bar while you pee (yes, actually happened... a lot).
Although I have led groups in mindful eating, and have spent years on-and-off practicing this skill, it still slips when times get busy or it gets pushed aside as a priority. When I had the television off for a week, I was not surprised that instead of mindlessly mowing down my food while watching a show, hunched over like the guardian of a bell tower, I was able to actually sit up straight, smell my food, and slowly eat it (well, slower, at least -- I am still a creature of habit, after all). I was able to consciously chew, knowing when I needed to take a breath (a difficult automatic bodily function to remember for some of us!), knowing when I wanted to savor, and really acknowledging all the textures.
Eating in this manner has been shown to support your digestive tract starting at your mouth and leading all the way to your colon. Christine E. Cherpak, DCN-c, CIHC reported in a 2019 article that mindful eating can support and develop gastric juices that help break down food and assimilate nutrients, delivering those nutrients to all your organ systems of the body, and that eating in this way even helps alleviate symptoms associated with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), anxiety, depression, and diabetes. During the week of no TV, I can confidently say that by eating more mindfully, my bodily functions were a well-oiled machine.
Questions to ask...
To wrap up the first half of the article, it may help to contemplate a few questions to bring about awareness:
Is there a habit in your life that is currently unwanted?
What would change in your life if this habit were altered in some way to take up less time or space?
When did you notice this habit begin? What were the circumstances around it forming and sticking to your daily routine?
Why it's important to ask questions
It's important to ask questions like this when working with an unwanted behavior as it helps us to de-escalate judgment on ourselves. So often we think of a habit we're stuck on as a moral failure of character, when in fact it more-than-likely showed up because it was helping us in some way. I know that television as a past-time showed up for me because it helped me in tremendously difficult times, which I'll discuss in the following article.
While you're waiting for the second half of the article, know that you're not alone in undesirable behaviors that have slipped into your lives. We all have struggled with them. They aren't there to trap you, they simply showed up because there was a space and, likely, need for them to fill. So try to be a little kinder to yourselves when navigating behavior changes. They're sticky for a reason.
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